Two women, incredibly drunk and walking home got caught short. They
were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their
business behind a head stone or something. One of them had nothing to
wipe with so she thought she'd take off her panties and use them, then
throw them away.
Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive underwear set and
didn't want to ruin hers but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon
from a wreath that was on one of the graves and proceeded to wipe
herself with that. They then made off for home.
The next day one woman's husband phoned the other husband and said "We'd
better keep an eye on our wives you know, mine came home last night
without her panties."
"That's nothing" said the other "Mine came back with a card stuck
between her arse that said "From all the lads at the fire station. We'll
never forget you'."